Honesty - The Key To Healthy Honesty Dating
I am a firm believer that not everyone needs a romantic relationship to have a happy and fulfilling life. Having said that, most people I know say that they want a relationship. They also seem to dislike the process of dating.I think honesty is the key to healthy dating; the kind of dating that raises our self-esteem and leads us toward supportive relationships. 12th street jam has just completed a new video series in which we interview people about dating, and I was delighted to find people who, for better or worse, were really honest about their experiences. Here are some tips about honesty and dating:
Be Honest About Your Goals
Just like an employer looking for a new hire, you have some clear goals and responsibilities you are looking for in a mate. If we don't take the time to figure out what we really want, it is pretty difficult to find a partner who can fully share in our life. Do you want children? Do you want monogamy? Do you even really want a serious relationship? I don't think there are right or wrong answers to these questions but there are honest ones.
Be Honest About Who You Are
I know that I have tried to be someone other than who I really am on dates because of fear of rejection. But even if I convince my date that I am the persona I have adopted (more successful, more secure, more carefree) that person is going to be in for a surprise somewhere down the line when my real story comes out. Being as honest as possible upfront is really healthier for both of us.
Be Honest About Vulnerabilities
When I am getting to know someone, there is a pretty good chance that I am going to get my feelings hurt or hurt the other person's feelings. This isn't necessarily because either one of us is cruel but just because we don't know one another's vulnerabilities. The more honest I can be when my feelings get hurt, the better chance I have of continuing the relationship and giving the other person a shot at really knowing me.
These tips may seem naïve or unrealistic to some, especially those who have had bad experiences dating. But I know they eventually worked for me during the dating process and helped me find that special person just right for me.
1 comment:
I think we have to trust in order to move forward in a relationship, if not then where will the relationship end up? Most likely not very far. I believe that we have to trust the other person to get to know who they are and vice versa for them. Honesty is a very important part of the equation to building a relationship, as well as knowing how to convey that trust. Basically we keep adding the layers on by continuing to be honest and continuing to communicate that honesty and we will eventually have built a deeper friendship/relationship with the other person. It is a really tough process, but we have to start being honest with ourself first before we can rush into being honest with someone else.
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